After a dinner appointment last week, I was able to catch the tail-end of the American Idol show.  I actually sat there and enjoyed the Bon Jovi songs, sorry to admit that I grew up during the glam-rock days of the early 90's, sigh. 

Anyway, our church here in Hawaii just started a series called "A Love that Lasts."  This week, P Billy spoke about building blocks in lasting relationships and he used American Idol as an illustration a couple of times.  So it got me thinking, you can learn a lot of life lessons from watching this show.  So in honor of the last four finalists, here are four building blocks to a lasting relationship from American Idol:

1. LISTEN.  I know that this is not profound and we all probably know this, but we still neglect to do it.  In the beginning of the season, tons of people audition for the show.  And some are really DIFFERENT.  However, they weren't stopped from performing and the judges sat there and listened.  We should do the same.  LISTEN.  I often cut people off verbally(nicely, of course), but most of the time mentally (which is even worse, coz I'm nodding my head and not listening at all).  If we're going to be able to reach people that are different or not so different from us, we need to stop, give your full attention and LISTEN.
2. ENCOURAGE.  This is where Paula Abdul comes in.  She would really go out of her way to say something really positive.  Sometimes she says something like, "nice outfit, you really look good tonight!"  I know, I know, it’s a singing competition and she's talking about her dress, but we could all use an encouraging word from time to time.  Maybe you'll have to really look for something encouraging to say, just remember not to lie, hehehe.
3. BE REAL.  Randy Jackson, "Yo, yo, yo.  Check it out dawg, it was a good performance but It just didn't move me."  Or, "Yo, you took that song and made it your own, dawg.  I mean, you made me feel the lyrics and all the emotions that come with that song."  We need to be able to communicate our real life experiences with people.  That means, sharing both the bad and the good, and sharing it constructively.  Sometimes, what people need to hear is not how you overcame a struggle with the power of God.  But how we struggled to hold on as God's power overcame the situation you were in.
4. BE TRUTHFUL.  As much as I dislike Simon Cowell and as much as I would like to disagree with the shocking things that he says, I still concur with most of his opinions.  So, it doesn't matter how unpleasant the delivery of the criticism is, we still need to listen to the truth in it.  However, we don’t need to communicate it the same way as Simon does.  We need to communicate the truth in love, in a way that it will be received.  You may be correct and the truth is on your side but the right thing to do might not be show how correct you are or that you are telling the truth.  I’m not sure if you’ve seen the first few episodes of every season, but a person who can’t sing say that their friends compliments them about their singing or that they should enter American Idol.  (That’s not telling the truth in love)  Actually, that's not telling the truth, period.

I can’t say that I’m an expert in making lasting relationships or that it’s as simple as following this list.  What I do know is that I know a lot more than what I’m applying in my relationships.  What I do know is I can’t change the whole world, I can’t even change the people around me.  But I do know that armed with the love of God, I can change one relationship at a time.